When I competed in
sports, winning was important. But
my parents also stressed that it’s not
only whether you win or lose that
counts, but how you play the game.
I still remember that I once threw my
tennis racquet. Only once --
because when I did it was
taken away from me for a month!
Sports are so different today.
Everything seems to be about winning.
At all costs and regardless of how the
game is played.
Following are a
few incidents that caused me to write
this article:
A young hockey
player recently asked me to watch one of
his playoff games. I said "sure, I
could come to the game that night."
He was delighted. But then he
suggested I come to the next game
instead. When I asked why, he told
me his coach had told the team to
intentionally
lose
that night’s game in order to
play against a weaker team the following
day. In all my years of
involvement in hockey it never occurred
to me that coaches would tell youngsters
to intentionally blow
a game. When
I asked the boy how he felt about this
he said he felt terrible but that he
couldn’t do anything about it. I
did go to the game that night and I
watched the team "go through the
motions." They obeyed their coach.
They lost. They went on to win the
next game (against the weaker team) and
to win the entire tournament. What
a win. What a lesson. In my
eyes every player on that team lost --
big time!
In a state high
school tournament several players were
mouthing off at the officials. One
player became particularly offensive and
was given a game misconduct. The
officials had to physically escort this
player off the ice and into the locker
room. He resisted and cursed all
the way. The player was told to
stay in the locker room for the
remainder of the game but of course he
didn’t. He came out cursing some more,
using some of the most vile words and
exhibiting some of the ugliest behavior
I’ve ever experienced. He cursed
and banged his fists on the glass for
the rest of the game. Why didn’t his
coach intervene? Why wasn’t the
entire team held responsible? Even given
another penalty; one that would have
impacted the team and made a powerful
statement about unacceptable behavior?
In figure
skating it is quietly acknowledged
(though rarely discussed) that parents
and coaches encourage their budding
stars to "be aggressive" out there; that
if other skaters get in their way to
"pay them back." The Tonya Harding
- Nancy Kerrigan attack was extreme, but
incidents of intimidation and even of
intentionally induced injuries in the
"genteel" world of figure skating are
more common than we know.
Coaches are
teachers and have a huge responsibility.
They can imbue (or not imbue) values
that go far beyond sport itself. They
can inspire children to think, create,
experiment, be artistic, or instead
teach them instead to fear authority, to
obey without question and to perform
mechanically. They can demand that their
athletes exhibit honesty, fair play,
courtesy, consideration, sportsmanship
and etiquette as being integral to
winning, or they can stress that they
should do "whatever it takes" to win.
What are the
lessons of sport and life that parents
want their young athletes to come away
with?
Think about the
athletes we admire so much -- the names
Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux, Michael
Jordan, Tiger Woods, Cammi Granato,
Michelle Kwan, come to mind. What
distinguishes these great athletes from
so many others? Think of it!
Throughout good times and bad they have
always played their game with class.
I believe it is
time to come down hard on negative
behavior and poor sportsmanship.
Young athletes must be taught that "how
they play the game" counts. Then,
regardless of the outcome of the game,
they will be true winners.
